Setting Boundaries After You Bring Baby Home

Having a baby can be an exciting and overwhelming experience, and one of the challenges that comes with it is figuring out how to set boundaries and welcome visitors. Especially during the days of Covid19 and a virulent RSV illness season.

Here are some tips to help you manage your new parenting life while still being able to enjoy the company of family and friends.

First, decide what kind of visitors you want to allow into your home. Do you prefer intimate family gatherings or larger events with a lot of people? Knowing who you want to welcome into your home will help you set boundaries and communicate them to your guests. Keep in mind the time of year it is and whether or not you’re concerned about the spread of illness. Keep a bottle of hand sanitizer out in the open where you can politely ask guests to use it before they come near your newborn baby.

Second, establish a timeline for when visitors can come. You may want to limit visits to certain days or times to reduce the disruption to your family’s routine.

Third, give your guests clear instructions on how to interact with your baby. This can include not handling the baby without your permission, not taking pictures of the baby, and respecting your privacy. This also includes asking family and friends to bring food or be prepared to help with light housekeeping when they come to visit. There’s no reason why anyone should be able to just come over to ‘hold your baby’. Bring a casserole. Fold some laundry. Wash the dishes. It’s a more than fair trade!

Fourth, let your guests know that you’ll need time for yourself. It’s okay to politely decline a visit if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Practice saying ‘NO, thank you’ in the mirror, if you have to! Truly, this is about you and your newborn and it isn’t about your visitors. Protect your own health and peace of mind, first.

Be prepared. Have a list of activities for visitors to do while visiting, such as playing a game or taking a walk. This will help keep your visitors entertained and engaged, while also giving you a break. I, personally, don’t recommend entertaining overnight guests in the early days-unless it’s a postpartum doula. But, if you must have family come to stay, remember our advice and ask them to contribute somehow.

By following these tips, you can set boundaries and welcome visitors after you have a baby. With the right preparation and communication, you can enjoy the company of friends and family while still taking care of yourself and your new bundle of joy.