The Unspoken Storm: What is Postpartum Rage and How to Cope

We talk a lot about the incredible joys of welcoming a new baby, and rightfully so! But in our commitment to holistic postpartum support, we also want to shine a light on some of the less-talked-about, yet equally real, experiences that can arise. Today, let’s dig into something many new parents silently struggle with: Postpartum Rage.

When we envision postpartum, we often think of “baby blues” or even postpartum depression. But for some, the emotional landscape after birth includes intense feelings of anger and irritability. This isn’t just being a bit grumpy from lack of sleep; postpartum rage is a powerful, overwhelming emotion that can feel incredibly unsettling.

What is Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage is characterized by intense, uncharacteristic anger that can feel sudden and uncontrollable. It’s a profound sense of fury that can often be directed at loved ones, or at oneself, leaving you feeling guilt-ridden and ashamed afterwards.

It’s crucial to understand that this is a common, though often hidden, aspect of postpartum adjustment for many parents.

Here’s what you need to know about postpartum rage:

• When does it happen? While it is most common within the first 6 weeks post-birth, postpartum rage can happen any time during the entire first year postpartum. This means it’s not just a fleeting early phase; it can emerge months later as new challenges arise.
• What might it look like? The symptoms can be alarming and distressing for those experiencing them:
  • Screaming/yelling more than usual: You might find yourself raising your voice in ways you never thought possible.
  • Lashing out: This could involve snapping at your partner, family members, or even inanimate objects.
  • Feeling unable to cope with the intense emotions: The anger feels overwhelming and beyond your control.
  • Losing control of one’s temper: You might feel a sudden surge of fury that feels entirely unlike your usual self.

Why Does Postpartum Rage Happen?

You might be asking, “Why me? What’s wrong with me?” The answer is, nothing is wrong with you. Postpartum rage is often a complex interplay of factors common to the postpartum period:

• Hormonal Shifts: The dramatic drop in pregnancy hormones (estrogen and progesterone) and the surge in others can profoundly impact brain chemistry and mood regulation.
• Extreme Sleep Deprivation: Chronic lack of sleep doesn’t just make you tired; it severely impairs your ability to manage stress, regulate emotions, and maintain patience.
• Overwhelm and Responsibility: The sheer, unending demands of caring for a newborn, often with little to no break, can create a constant state of overwhelm.
• Lack of Support: Feeling isolated or unsupported can exacerbate feelings of frustration and anger.

It’s NOT Your Fault, and You Are Not Alone

Let me say this clearly for those in the back: experiencing postpartum rage is not a sign that you’re a bad parent, or that you don’t love your baby. It’s a symptom of your body and mind trying to cope with immense stress and change. It’s a signal that you need support.

What Can You Do?

If you are experiencing postpartum rage, please know that help is available, and there answers.

1. Acknowledge and Validate: The first step is to recognize what you’re feeling without judgment. It’s real, and it’s valid.
2. Take a Moment (Safely): When you feel the surge of rage, try to take a deep breath. If possible and safe, step away for a moment. Put the baby down in a safe space (like their crib) and give yourself 60 seconds to breathe.
3. Communicate: Talk to your partner, a trusted friend, family member, or your doula. Sharing what you’re experiencing is the first step toward getting help and understanding.
4. Prioritize Rest (Even Small Bits): This is often easier said than done, but even short naps or periods of rest can make a significant difference in your emotional regulation.
5. Seek Professional Support: This is incredibly important. Reach out to your doctor, an OB-GYN, a therapist specializing in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), or a psychiatrist. There are effective treatments and strategies, including therapy and sometimes medication, that can help you regain control and feel like yourself again.
6. Lean on Your Support System: Let your doula help you identify resources, articulate your needs, and find ways to get the practical and emotional support you deserve.

You are a strong, capable parent, and seeking help for postpartum rage is a sign of that strength, not weakness. At Michigan Family Doulas, we are here to support you through every facet of your postpartum journey. Please reach out to us, we are here for you!

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